“Now read my lips, I know there are people here that are not part
of our church, read my lips, we are going to speak but we
are consulting to come out with a robust reply.”
“When we asked God, God said be quiet.” Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo in his non robust reply to the Ese Walter accusations on Sunday 25th August 2013.
One shouldn’t need a robust reply to say “I didn’t do it!” but I digress. The Miss Ese Walter – Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo affair has
since come and for many, who’d rather the truth be buried, should be
gone by now. Unfortunately, this will not go yet. The reason is simple;
pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo just has to speak up. This was my initial take on the issue and
you may need to read it to understand where this writer is coming from.
If you haven’t read that, you’d not understand my mind with respect to
how, no matter what we think or assume, we should never judge until all
sides are heard. I now know more than I did from that last time and all
sides have had at least 3 weeks to be heard.
Before I continue, let me address the men worshippers who go to
church on Sundays and during the week sincerely believing they are
worshipping God but in reality are bowing to the carnal desires of
fellow men. My last year in Nigeria saw me spend more time in Abuja than
any other Nigerian city. Anytime I found myself in Abuja, I’d always
attend the Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA) or on select occasions
The Everlasting Arms Parish (TEAP) of the Redeemed Christian Church of
God. My Lagos church has no branch. COZA was convenient for me for many
reasons but the most appealing part was the fact that it was a church I
could go without being treated specially. Yes, a few people would know
and notice me but I’d largely be just another member of the congregation
and my life needed just that. I was not just attending COZA though; I
truly liked the church. I was committed to the church financially. I may
be did not give as much as many people but I at least gave enough to
receive a gracious call from Pastor Fatoyinbo himself. I am yet to give
anyone – including my mother – as much of my resources as I have given
to COZA. More often than not my donations were in hard currency. Given a
chance, I’d do this again. Giving is my culture anyway. This point
needs to be made because some hypocrites will come up here to pretend
they love the church more than people they’d consider evil like myself
because one has chosen to ask questions. I don’t know how else to prove
one’s love for where one’s heart is without spending one’s money on
same. I gave not because I was moved by words but because I was
impressed by the church’s dedication to excellence. Hate him or love
him, pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo was a man driven by excellence. I was
impressed because after each journey away from Nigeria, I’d visit COZA
to see the aesthetics have been improved upon markedly. I was just
impressed and I was even more impressed because being a man driven by
excellence myself, it was great to see it in display in a Nigerian
organization. That mattered to me because Nigerian positive outliers
gain my attention for obvious reasons – excellence remains a scarce
commodity in here.
I saw pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo for the first time in Abeokuta, Ogun
State, Nigeria, I think in 2007 when he came to preach at The Father’s
House where I worshipped at the time. His depth impressed me. Again,
hate him or love him, he knew his word. He knew (knows) the bible and he
had – of course still has – the God given ability to not just preach
the word but to teach it and impact people. His strongest attribute for
me though would be his vocals. I don’t think there is a better singer
than the man in COZA!
I have made all the above points because some would come here, not to
read this or in search for the truth, but to defend their illusion and
the lie they want protected in their hearts. I have said the above to
let you know if you love the man, I love him too and if you love the
church I do too. Unfortunately, I love the truth more and that was the
reason I opened myself up to hearing the experiences of the many people
who reached me after this article.
I exchanged emails with Ese Walter – she had reached out to me to
encourage me during my Arik matter but I didn’t know that until after I
sent an email to her to say to be strong – I was speaking from my
understanding of what being in the media storm is. I received a call
from an Abuja based counselor and had exchanges with people who had
worshipped at pastor Fatoyinbo’s church in Ilorin. I did not reach out
to any of these people myself; they sought me out themselves.
Loyalty is a necessity in every relationship. There must be a purpose
and truth behind it. Should one remain loyal when one discovers that,
that loyalty was pledged on the wrong premise? Every loyalty has a
foundation and once that foundation is destroyed, loyalty must find a
new shelter.
The Nigerian society is what it is because we do not care about the
truth as a people, we only care about our interests. People think they
care about the truth when the truth does not affect them, as soon as the
table turns; their only care is about the protection of their own kind
of truth or their own interest. It is the reason the same people say to
you one day, “I love the way you write and focus on issues and the fact
that you are unbiased” and the next time they go “what’s your interest
in this? What is the point? I used to be your fan but not anymore!” I am
so used to this yo-yoing from readers I never care about fans, friends
or foes, I just care to put the word out based on what I think is right
only being at peace with my conscience and my God. I don’t care to be
loved or hated. I think I can do without caring for people whose
feelings change at the direction of whether the matter affects them
directly rather than whether the matter deserves one’s sincerity. This
will open me to abuse but who cares about people whose lives and souls
are subjected to what fellow men feel rather than what God cares about?
We may not be acutely aware of this as Nigerian Christians but while a
man of God is truly a man of God, he becomes just another man when it
comes to his own failings and addictions. A man of God who is addicted
to drugs for instance is not addicted to drugs as a man of God, he is
addicted to drugs as a man. The same thing goes for sex, stealing,
adultery and all the other vices listed by the bible and our
understanding of morality. When a man of God who is not married to you
touches your breast, he touches it as a real man not as a real man of
God. The hardness that comes with it is of his own blood, no matter what
you want to assume.
Of course men of God have a special kind of grace, a certain level of
Grace, but that grace has its purposive boundaries. You can have grace
to pull 100,000 people into a stadium as a preacher but that grace may
not be available to you if, say you invited people a year after to come
hear you declare yourself to run for a public office. Every form of
Grace has a purpose and a place for it. Will Pastor E.A. Adeboye gather
as much people in Redeem Camp if the event was his declaration to run
for a political office? I have gone at length to make this point about
grace because as Christians in Nigeria, some of us have become
passionate church going zombies! My words sound harsh but think mot
juste – it is what it is. As long as pastor says it, it is right. As
long as pastor does it, it is right. So then, pastor is always right.
Our thin line between pastor and God, which was supposed to be a clearly
marked reality, has since become eroded. Pastors have indeed become our
gods! We literally worship them now. My last service at COZA on the
25th of August showed this a lot. It was the loudest I had heard the
church and trust me, COZA on a regular day is loud. On this day, I sat
there in church and asked myself sincere questions;
Why is this church overly loud today, is it because of God or because
of man? The extraordinary praise and worship session – which I really
danced to because of my weakness for praises – and the loud cheers and
applauses had a note to them that never used to be there. This was no
longer about God, it had become about “our pastor.” I ordinarily would
not tweet during a church service but I did on this day because I was so
sure in my mind I was no longer in church. I realized I was in a
theatre. Everything was a show and it was at best a world-class show. It
was no longer about God, it was about “our church, our pastor” and you
are sure to see that put up here in the comments. Why have we suddenly
assumed and believed that defending our pastors mean defending God? Who
told us that when our pastors fall God will fall? Are we mad or are we
just spiritually insane? Our Christianity is no longer about God, it has
since become about pastors and our church’s brand. We are more obsessed
with what people perceive of our church’s reality than what God cares
about. Even the most seemingly independent minded among us lose their
ability to rationalize anything as long as it is about defending these
pastors and their increasingly way ward ways. In our usual way, we
misinterpret the bible for our end, saying for instance “touch not my
anointed and do my prophet no harm.” I leave you with this What does it really mean when it says not to touch the anointed? article.
This is our way of putting pastors above board, beyond questions and
their actions protected inside our common ignorance of God’s word.
People continue to perish for lack of knowledge. And you better not
think this is a Pentecostal thing, it is as ubiquitous as you’d find
religions. There is a fake version of anything that is original. If your
religion has no fake version of its good leaders, your religion itself
is fake!
There are of course true men of God and real churches dedicated not
just to getting men and women focused on God and the things of God, but
contributing extensively to the development of men, women and families
including underprivileged in the society. The existence of a fake thing
is proof there is an original. I work with some men of God fully
committed to this and the works of the likes of Daystar and the
Elevation Church in Lagos inspired this piece on what the church can do about poverty in Nigeria .
I think pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo is a real man of God but he is a real
man too; much more real a man than a god at least. And when these
realities come clashing, we must not treat these separate phenomena as
one. You can tear yourself to pieces over these questions as one of
these folks with suspended minds, but he really needs to answer them or
just let silence do the talking.
These are questions for the real man in pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo to answer:
Did he do what Ese Walter accused him of doing? When she came back to
Nigeria and asked that he needed to step away from the pulpit, did he
meet up with her, even tried to kiss her again and later called her to
say he forgot something in her car after he left? Did the thing he
forgot turn out to be N500,000 cash! Was this part of his personal
earnings in church or was it part of the church’s income? Did they meet
at another hotel – not in England – where he tried to pay for his own
accommodation and had his cash refused because the hotel wouldn’t take
cash so Ese had to pay with her card? Does he use an aphrodisiac
perfume? Is that for the fun of it or for some kind of fun? Did he
insist Ese Walter stay back in London after she came back to Nigeria
defying his earlier demand? Ese Walter might have held back many details
in her blog because no one gets to write it all on matters like that,
but will the real man please stand up and say something? Oh, and our
ultra-super-religious-and-spiritual-we-are-all-clean society has
crucified Ese Walter, making sure others like her never dare come out to
cast other pastors again. And trust me, there are other named ones. You
see, we think we are a free people but we are not. The person whose
body is shackled is freer than the person whose mind is. We have been
manipulated to assume certain things. It is so bad it has become so
tough to confront falsehood in our society. In contrast, it has become
the norm to confront those who dare ask questions around such. We
remember the Bible verses that justify our ways as though even the devil
doesn’t quote the Bible for his own end. Here is one thing you should
take home; “He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the just,
both of them alike are an abomination to the LORD” (Proverbs 17:15).
The sheer number of women who cannot speak up on their experiences
like these shows how much the society condemns the brave and gives the
halo of holiness to their mental oppressors. This is not limited to
pastors, leaders of other religions are very much involved in
immoralities with wives and daughters of trusted members but this is a
mirror for my home. I ignored my Muslim followers who insisted I speak
about their own leaders for obvious reasons. This remains Nigeria. I
know they will have fearless people who will show them their mirror too.
Some even already started with tweets on those yesterday.
One thing appeared constant in all the other alleged affairs; the
pastor always used disparaging words for his wife, telling the other
women his wife is “pretty on the outside, empty upstairs,” a theme that
appeared in all the stories. This set me off over and again, hearing it
from people who even as I write have never met themselves. Did the real
man in pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo tell these women his wife is too fat and
tried for years to lose weight but just couldn’t; and to think that the
woman in question is not fat. There is more on this but better to
reserve some questions. Is it true the wife is aware of the pastor’s
issues to the point she makes sure to regularly keep tabs on him with
phone calls? Is it true some of the pastors are well aware of this? Are
they party to it like some of the women in this loop suggest?
What about these other stories?
One of the women – who admitted she was seeking counseling not
because she felt abused by the pastor but because she felt used and
dumped, because the pastor had abandoned her – had much to say. She said
that it started when she went for counseling with pastor Fatoyinbo.
That, they exchanged numbers and they started calling each other at odd
hours. It went from phone sex to the bedroom. There is no need to give
the graphic details of the wildness she said transpired. The second
story as relayed by the Abuja counselor was exactly like the first, from
marital counseling to wild sex. This second person is actually married,
and remains married. One of the ladies admitted she was so addicted to
him she threw all caution to the wind. The money according to them was
another attraction they’d not deny. They didn’t say they were abused,
they said they felt used and dumped. She said the pastor has a huge
appetite for sex but gets bored easily and this explains his constant
change of girls.
Hard to believe, but these stories from Ilorin make the hardness go a
bit softer. Had an Ilorin student, who lived off campus, who was at the
time his member, ever drive out pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo out of her
room? Did he ask her to sit on his laps? Did he try to touch her
breasts? Did he try harder until she threatened to shout? Would the
pastor remember if I added he used to visit the family, that they used
to push his car at the time? Did any pastor at the time reprimand pastor
Biodun Fatoyinbo after the lady in question had reported him? Does he
still remember the words that man of God told him? Did the lady continue
to come to church after the incident? She left the church eventually
when she couldn’t stand seeing the pastor preach. People know about
this, families know about this. These are open secrets.
What about this other girl pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo allegedly dated in
Ilorin? She admitted they had a steady relationship, and that he would
tell her how his wife was not homely, how his wife couldn’t cook. Pastor
Biodun, according to her would tell her how he felt very homely and
welcomed around her, how she was just like a mother. She admitted she
dated the pastor for a very long time and even got pregnant and aborted
for the man of God. People say there can be no smoke without fire but I
don’t even agree with that because I know at least one gas that produces
smoke without fire. Unfortunately, this is beyond the smoke of a gas,
this is a thick, fat, carbon soaked smoke with burning flames that can
only be associated with fire! Like Moses’ burning bush, something is
wrong somewhere and silence will not help on this one.
Silence can be beautiful, silence can be ugly, silence can be so
subtle no ones hears it and silence can be so loud it screams “guilty!” I
defended pastor Fatoyinbo’s rights to be heard and I still do but I
cannot defend his long silence. This silence is so loud it is too
distracting. This silence is too robust to be ignored. Anyone who says
it is better for the pastor to remain silent at this time is not only a
hypocrite but also a church zombie. This is not me being abusive, this
is me saying it as it is. Just look out for the meaning of the word.
When God created things, he said it was good, after God created man
He said it was very good. God did not do all that so that we’d suspend
our ability to think when it comes to matters of our pastors or anyone
for that matter. Even God called out to Adam after he committed the
first sin. God did not convict him, he gave him a chance to defend
himself and Adam did present his case.
You see, after all said and done, we all like Adam, we fall short.
King David fell short and prophet Nathan told him to his face. We all
know what he did and the price he paid for that but we all know that
several millennia after, King David remains an iconic figure in Israel.
Israel’s flag and major national symbols bear his insignia to this day!
King David said “hata al-Yahweh” (Hebrew for “I have sinned
against God”) and his admission of his own human failings is the reason
we can all read Psalm 51 today and raise our heads knowing God is able
and willing to forgive us. God of course did forgive David but he never
let go of the consequence of that sin. His life was spared – against the
Law of Moses, which at the time meant David himself should have died –
but he lost the child born by Bathsheba. Of course we never read of
David committing that sort of sin again because the chastisements of God
helped clean him like David himself wrote in Psalm 51.
Talking about Joseph; is this what the pastor says Joseph did not
defend himself for? Would Joseph have defended himself if he was offered
the chance and he lived in the society as a free man and not the slave
he was? How did Moses write the account of what happened inside a room
between Joseph and Potiphar’s wife if Joseph never made a point to
defend himself at one time or the other? Would Joseph have kept quiet if
he had a congregation to account to? How come a young lady in Abuja who
had been in the COZA Ilorin choir knew Joseph was going to form part of
the message on Sunday the 25th of August even before the pastor came on
the pulpit? Had this happened in Ilorin and pastor Fatoyinbo had to
offer the same “the people who lived in Joseph’s time did not know he
did not do what he was accused of, we are the ones that know” excuse?
Should we forget these questions and wait for those who will be on earth
in 5000 years time to know all these were supernatural co-incidental
lies or would it be better for pastor Fatoyinbo to accept he is a real
man of God yes but he is indeed a real man with flesh, with the ability
to indeed fail? Can pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo do what David did and admit
his wrong to his congregation and let those who will stay, stay and
those who will leave, leave? Is it better for the church members to know
exactly what they are getting or should they all just continue to live a
lie or in-between a lie and confusion? Sir, can we even just let go of
the robust response and just say “I never did what Ese Walter accused me
of,” because you were true to your conscience enough on Sunday the 25th
of August not to deny it happened. I remembered clearly no words were
said to that effect. If indeed it did not happen, can we get an “I did
not do it” short, simple and direct response before this robust reply is
ready for our consumption? How can all sides be heard if one side
decides silence should do the talking?
At least no one can say I wrote this because of the new COZA land or
building project because I worked for the money I contributed to it. And
I hope to visit when this project is completed. But our Christianity
needs to rise above this carnality and obsession with buildings and what
toilets and church seats should look like. These are all cool and I’d
always be likely to worship in a church that pays attention to all these
but at the end of the day, this is not what Christianity is about. Our
faith is about Christ and we were called Christians at Antioch for the
first time not because of how beautiful our churches looked or how well
our pastors/apostles spoke, it was because of our Christ-like attitude.
Is this what the Nigerian church is about today or should we forget this
question was ever asked? Are we still worshipping The Way, The Truth
and The Life or have we redefined God? We need to ask these questions
and more about our Christianity. Let us even for a while forget what
others think or say about us, who really are we? Now let the abuses rain
on me. I need to shower myself. May the peace of the Lord be upon His
church!
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